Behind the Scenes

When I was getting dressed this morning, I noticed that the elastic waistband of my underwear was getting a little ... loose.  This is not good news, people!

I am a child of the 60's and clearly remember the days when I dashed out of the house bra-less wearing bikini underwear and no pantyhose.  If I did wear a bra to contain my AAA assets, it was a front hook contraption with two small triangles that could not have supported a fried egg.   

I remember getting dressed with my grandmother one morning.  She wore foundation garments in every sense of the word.  She started with a bra that had shoulder straps that were at least 3 inches wide, that went below her breasts to mid-chest.  As I recall there were 4 hooks to be done in the back.  This was followed by her corset, which had absolutely no relationship to the items sold by Victoria's Secret.  This was an industrial-strength suit that fit over her bra then went over her behind and had stiff boning through the waist.  I honestly don't think she could bend once she had it on.  It hooked up the back and had garters at the bottom so she could attach her stockings to it.  Once the corset and stockings were installed, Nana pulled a full slip over everything, and a pair of "woolly knickers" to prevent the cold Manitoba winter from penetrating the layers.  Only then did she add her blouse, jumper and a sweater on top.  My goodness.  Of course Nana was born in 1901, in an era when women were expected to dress modestly.

My preference for bikini panties disappeared when I was pregnant, as I found it very disconcerting to have my underwear roll itself under my belly and then make a break for the floor.   Despite misgivings, I discovered the joy of granny panties, which stayed where they were put.  They fit comfortably under my jeans, and served me well for many years.

Now that I am exercising again and spending time in women's change rooms, I understand how my grandmother must have felt watching me dress so many years ago.  The skinny young girls wear thongs, which is a concept I never grasped.  There are also a variety of styles including boy-leg, high-cut, french-cut, ladies' boxers, hipsters, and full briefs (which sounds like a contradiction in terms to me).   

Please do not get me started on the variety of control these underwear may contain.  Control being a euphemism for what my mother used to call her girdle, back in the day.  Not only are there many kinds of underwear that control your tummy, there seems to be underwear that pads your behind too.  You can lift, separate, squeeze, shape, accentuate your assets into whatever you want.  What a concept!

Anyway, the purpose of this blog is to explain that my underwear is reaching that stage where I will have to replace it.  With what is open to discussion at this point.  I can't tell from the pictures on the front of the packages what exactly this underwear I am contemplating will look like.  I have evolved beyond the granny panty and am striving for the zen like perfection of underwear that is neither too high cut in the leg, or too low cut over the tummy.  I have accepted the reality of my figure and prefer to shape and control my body from the inside, not impose discipline from the outside.  Let us hope that my current underwear will remain on the job long enough for me to replace it.