Images

This morning, I've been thinking about images.  Both the image that I present to the world, and the image I have of myself.  I cannot reconcile the two.   There are many women who have the same problem, I know.  I think the discrepancy changes over time, because in the privacy of my own mind I haven't aged a day over 30.  So its a real shock see a photograph and realize that my mental age does not match my physical description.  

I read an article this morning written by another woman who realized that she had morphed from the cutie who loved to flirt to a middle aged aunt over night.  Her theory is that it happened as soon as she turned 50, but I'm not sure you can put a specific best-before age on the problem.  Some women remain vibrant and sexy much longer than others.  Of course to some degree these are the women who have the time and financial resources (and energy) to devote to their appearance, but the discretion not to join the scary plastic surgery club.
 
We are in the process of renewing our passports, which results in the inevitable photo shoot.  Our last passport has expired and the picture for it was taken before I dyed my hair purple.  I hadn't really thought about the situation until Saturday morning when we went to the photographer.  Actually, I thought that all passport photos were black and white, but they're not.  All official photographs of me have a good news - bad news element to them:  the good news is that I have only 1 chin in the picture, the bad news is that I look like an axe murderer.  We haven't got any trips planned in the immediate future, but it will be interesting to see how travel will be affected by my purple hair.  I certainly have never had a negative comment while travelling in the Caribbean, but I'm not sure how customs officials will react.
 
I haven't posted a photo of myself on this blog, because there are very few photos of me to choose from.  Somehow, I don't recognize myself in most photographs.  Oh, I know that the middle-aged somewhat pudgy person who looks like she swallowed a fly is probably me.  I remember being there.  I remember the camera being pointed in my direction, I just don't resemble the result.  Actually if I see the camera being aimed at me, or if there is a group photograph I tend to disappear rapidly in the opposite direction.  As a result most existing photos of me are candid, which rarely flatter anyone.

One of my goals over the coming year is to work on my body image issues and reconcile my attitude towards photographs.  Last year my goal was to find some form of exercise which I enjoyed and was prepared to commit to on a regular basis.  I have discovered pilates classes twice a week at our local community centre.  They challenge muscles throughout my body, and I have noticed a real improvement in my core and back strength as well as my overall flexibility.  I even feel taller!  I also lift weights twice a week, which is a real complement to the pilates classes.  Another goal for this year is to take my Ipod for a walk around the neighbourhood or around the lake a couple times a week.  This way I can listen to a book as I walk, and add some aerobic exercise to the list.

This week I am reading the October Daye series written by Seanan McGuire.  This is a fantasy series set in San Francisco.  October "Toby" Daye is a changeling, half-human and half-fae.  She is also a knight-errant and private detective to the fae court.  So far there are 5 books in the series:  "Rosemary and Rue", "A Local Habitation", "An Artificial Night", "Late Eclipses" and "One Salt Sea".  These books are similar to Jim Butcher's Harry Dresden series in that the protagonist is part of the human world but does battle with faerie creatures.  They are action packed and I have been unable to put them down.  Toby is entirely believable and her world is impeccably described and engaging.