Rules of Life

I like to travel light.  I don't like to carry a purse, I prefer pockets.  If we travel somewhere I pack enough underwear, a couple of pairs of jeans and socks, some t shirts and an outfit that will pass for "good" in addition to as many swimsuits as possible (middle aged women and wet bathing suits are not a good combination!)

So, when you're discussing the rules I use to govern most of my life, I only have two basic ones, and we'll cover the first one today.  In short form, its LITFS.  This stands for Life Is Too Fucking Short.  Its my favourite rule, and it covers almost any experience that I've come across so far.

Why bother carrying a grudge or staying angry with someone you love?  It takes up physical energy, and even worse too much emotional and psychic energy.  Once I've made my position clear (and I learned how to be vocal from experts) and calmed down again, its over.  I don't like getting all worked up and then continuing the drama for an indefinite period of time.  Of course, this depends on the circumstances, and perhaps I've been very lucky that nobody that I have loved has done anything irrevocable, like murder.  Certainly, they've infuriated me, possibly hurt my feelings badly or crossed a line that I feel is unacceptable.  But once the initial discussion is over, and everybody knows where I stand, it's time to move on.  That doesn't mean that I don't remember what has happened, and have formed an opinion about how I plan to treat them in the future, it just means that there's no point in discussing the issue over and over and over again.  LITFS

Why bother leaving the house with a rotten attitude, picking a fight with a sales clerk or innocent bystander?  Any time I've slipped up and ignored this rule, I've regretted it.  Certainly, living with purple hair has made me a little more memorable, so I'm more cautious about throwing attitude all over other people.  It's far easier to shrug and ignore a person that you don't know who is trying to share their bad day with you.   Nobody needs to know what I'm murmering under my breath as I smile sweetly.   If nothing else, it irritates them far more if you smile and ignore them than it would if you let them achieve their goal.  And sometimes, if you smile at people you improve their day, so you both win.  LITFS 

Like everybody else, I can get really down on myself.  As I've aged, I realize that doesn't really accomplish much except make me miserable.  Far better to sit down and figure out exactly why I'm upset with myself, what I'd do differently next time, and release my disappointment and anger to the universe.  All anybody can do is the best they can with the information they have at the time, and beating yourself up for days and weeks isn't going to change what has happened.  LITFS


On the happy side, life is too short to refuse to do things you enjoy.  I may not always like the number on the scale, but what do you gain if you focus on achieving your goal instead of taking pleasure along the way?  For many years, I postponed feeling good about myself by thinking that I'd be happy when I achieved whatever that elusive goal was (weight, body shape, income).  Then I recognized all the time I had wasted by ignoring myself and my needs and focusing on something that may never happen.  Now I find that I'm actually enjoying my physical exercise, enjoying what I eat, and probably far easier to get along with when I was postponing gratification and denying myself happiness.  LITFS

Speaking of which, today I am going to start that Zoe Sharp book, "Fifth Victim".  I've been saving it for the right time.  It's time to stop avoiding my walk on this sunny day, lace my shoes, hit the road,  and come home to read my book with a cup of tea.  LITFS